My Husband Passed Away

I just wanted to let everyone know that my husband is not suffering from 4th stage lung cancer anymore. He passed away from congestive heart failure on 5/5/2012.

I told him that I would be okay when he was gone, but for the moment I can't see how I can keep that promise because there is so many bills that I can't pay and everything is in such a mess now.

I have tried to get in rent subsidized apartments, but there is such a waiting list that I will more then likely have to move in with one of my daughters when my house goes into foreclosure here soon.

I am trying to hang on to the car, but Wells Fargo is refusing to deal with me so that is kind of looking hopeless now also.

Just wanted to let everyone know how we were doing.

Looks Like Hubby's Cancer Has Started Growing Again!

It has ben a while since I last wrote anything on my blog and I am sorry. There has been a lot going on since the last time also.

Hubby lost his insurance when it went to over $800 a month where he used to work which would have been half of what he drew in retirement and Social Security. We still owe on the house and car so there was no way that we could keep carrying the insurance, and they would have been dropping us from the plan in four months anyway so it seemed useless to struggle to try and pay for it anymore.

We were able to get him help through the VA center though because he had been in the army from 1972 to 1974, and he does not have to pay anything to see the doctor, and his prescriptions are just $8.00.

I was not able to get any help with my medical care though until just a few days ago which cost us so much for my prescriptions and medical care that it looks like we may be itemizing next year. I know that I have spent $1100 just on prescriptions in the last three months. I was finally able to get help through the Cherokee Healthcare Clinic that is just a few minutes away from our house where I could be seen by the doctor and pay for my prescriptions on a sliding scale.

But then I procrastinate on why I decided to write on this blog at 2:00 AM instead of sleeping.

We took hubby in to Johnson City to have a Pet Scan, and his cancer doctor from there called me Friday saying that hubby's cancer had started growing again, and that he wanted him to go back on chemotherapy. At the moment hubby is saying no to taking chemo again that he would rather just get things over with though. I don't know if I can get him to change his mind, and I am not sure that I should argue with him at this point. I need to talk to someone much wiser then I am, and I plan to take care of this before going to sleep tonight.

I will try to write more later.

How Things Are Going Today!

I drove hubby to see his cancer Dr today to hear the results from last Friday's CT Scan. We had to wait almost an hour, and we were both pretty nervous because on his last visit with the Dr three months ago the CT Scan had shown a small glow on the left lung which meant a new cancer had appeared on the left side of his lung after it had appeared to stop growing on the right side.

The Dr finally came in to see hubby and whatever they had found on his CT Scan three months ago did not show up on this CT Scan. This scan was the same as the one from six month ago which was not showing any cancer growth.

We both took a big sigh of relief because Hubby had about decided that he did not want any more radiation or chemotherapy.

How is hubby doing today?

I did not realize that it had been so long since I updated this blog. When I left off I was going to see a cardilogist back in December.

The day I went to see the cardiologist he did another EKG and sent me straight over to the hospital. The next day he put in four stents to unblock one artery. Since that time I have lost 20 pounds, and I have been feeling okay, but I got a long way to go before I feel up to handling what is coming.

Hubby had another CT Scan a month ago which showed that he had a lot of fluid in his lungs, and his doctor recommended that he have the fluid drained off. Hubby had the procedure done, but his lung collasped during the process, and the next day the fluid came right back. Hubby says that he is not having it done again, but he is sounding horrible. He coughs from the time he gets up off the couch until he sits back down again.

I have given up on arguing with him because it is just a waste of my time. Even after all the treatments that he has gone through he is still puffing away on his cigarettes, and he is back up to smoking almost two packs each day again.

Hubby and I were talking this morning about one of my Mom's brothers who passed aways during the night of a massive heart attack, and hubby says that it was an easy way to go. So I turned to him and asked him do you think his wife Ella felt that way when she found him dead in the bed last night? I don't think so!

How Things Are Going Today!

Steve has finished his treatments for his lung cancer. His cancer has shrunk by almost 60%, and there is nothing but a residual effect in his lymph nodes.

His weight is stable at 192. He is eating good, and his hair is beginning to come back.

He tires out pretty quickly, and he starts to cough whenever he gets up off the couch. He pretty much coughs until he sits back down again.

He has been drawing a retirement check and a temporary disability check from where he worked since June 8th, but the temporary disability will run out on Dec 15th which will make things pretty tight until he gets his first Social Security check on Jan 26th.

I have not been handling the stress to well. My blood pressure has been high even after taking to pills to treat it, and I started having a tightness across chest so I went to see my doctor who ordered an EKG. The EKG suggested that I have a blockage somewhere so that I am not getting adequate oxygen to my heart so he wants me to go to a cardiologist for more tests Monday.

How are Things Going? You Decide!

I have gotten so far behind in updating. Hubby has finished his regular radiation treatments, and he has 7 more boost treatments to go. His back has what looks like a third degree sunburn on it, and he is in constant pain. His throat has been so raw from the treatments also that he has eaten very little in the past two weeks. He has also been throwing up every morning, and his hair has been falling out. I think that his hair falling out is caused by not eating, and not by the chemotherapy. He has been on a lot of different medications including a pain patch, and he started having prostrate problems two weeks ago so he went to see Dr Peters his family doctor yesterday. Dr Peters thought that hubby's problem was caused by an infected hair and wanted to put him on three types of antibiotics, but when we went to pick them up we found that these three antibiotics were going to cost almost $85 even after the insurance paid their share, and Steve told me to just forget about them because we just did not have that much cash left. I wanted to look up the common reactions to his pain patch because his symptoms started about the time that he started taking them, and sure enough the common reaticons to this medicine was throwing up and difficulty urinating. It did not say anything about the swelling, but I am pretty sure that this was caused by the pain patch also. Hubby took off his pain patch last night, and I do not know how things will go with him today.

I am stressed out. We have never had much extra, but our bills were always paid, and I always thought that if we had something to eat and the bills were paid then we were doing okay. We sold an old 1978 Mustang that hubby had been fixing up last month to pay July's bills, and now hubby is trying to sell his work truck to pay August's bills. His work truck is an automatic 1991 Ford F150; and the only thing wrong with it that I know of is that the brakes grab a little when you first use them, the right side door handle has came loose, and it has two scratches in the exterior paint. Hubby is asking $1100 for his pickup, but everyone that has looked at it has been trying to get him to come down on the price instead of buying it. I don't know what is wrong with people, but I am not complaining because I don't want him to sell his truck anyway. Somehow we will get through this. Maybe hubby will start getting his early retirement checks on August first, and since they will owe him for July and August both then we should have enough to pay everything. Until then we just got to make do.

Hubby is in Pain This Week.

Hubby has been sick and throwing up since he left the radiation lab Friday. His throat is raw and sore and he has blisters in his mouth so he has eaten very little over the weekend. All he ate Monday was half a pickle and some ice cream. I don't think that he ate anything at all Tuesday. He got out of taking his radiation treatment yesterday because he was sick, and today the radiation treatment machine was down so he got out of it again. Now he is saying that the machine was down Friday and Monday when they gave him his treatment because it about cooked him. He was happy that he did not have to take it today, and says that he is not taking it again until he talks to his radiation doctor who will not be back in until Friday. He also did not have to take his chemotherapy treatment today because his white blood cell count was down to low. Sounds like getting him to take any more treatments is going to be a battle.

After his chemotherapy visit was canceled today I took him in to where he used to work to get their help with some paper work for his retirement benefit from IAMS, and he seemed to enjoy the visit. He went off to visit with the guys he had worked with while Kim helped me with the legal papers that IAMs wanted filled out. He weighed himself on their industiral scale while he was off visiting the guys, and told me that he was down to 207 pounds now. I think that he looks better now then he did back before we found out that he has lung cancer, but his doctor is still concerned that he is losing to much muscle.